Sunday, May 30, 2010

AMA Responds to Rudd's Health Plan

The Australian Medical Association has weighed in on the new Rudd health care proposals:

The Allergists voted to scratch it but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

The Obstetricians felt they were all labouring under a misconception.

Ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted.

Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Paediatricians said, "Oh, Grow up!"

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.

Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.

The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter."

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.

The Anaesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the arseholes in Canberra.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Dockers Punishment

AAP Reuters 19 May 2010: Fremantle rocked by drug scandal

After investigations by the AFL Commission suggested that a Fremantle player was involved in the use of illegal drugs, the AFL have taken a hard-nosed approach to the problem and stripped the Fremantle Football Club of all awards won over the past 15 years.

The AFL Commissioner was seen leaving Fremantle Oval this morning with:
  • 15 participation certificates
  • three junior whoppers with cheese value meals
  • seven chocolate frogs
  • two wooden spoons
Insiders close to the club state that the club is devastated.

Dan the Man: A life in 8-bits

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Harry Potter, Suicide, Dwarf

I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I mean, a ginger haired kid, with two friends?

I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to pieces.

I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf who was pick-pocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?