Saturday, July 30, 2011

Senior Citizen Advice for Tiger Woods

As we all know, Tiger Woods has returned to golf after a five month hiatus. We seniors have put together some words of advice he may want to follow:

When you see a woman....

And want her badly.

Please consider the following:

No matter how beautiful she is...

No matter how sexy she is....

No matter how seductive she is...

No matter how huge her breasts are...

I forgot where I was going with this?

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Nurses Never Laugh

"Of course I won't laugh," said the nurse after Bob explained he was embarrassed about his concern.

"I'm a professional.  In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."

"Okay then," said Bob, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the smallest male member the nurse had ever seen - in length and width was almost identical to a AAA battery.

Unable to control herself, the nurse tried to suppress a giggle, but it just came out.  Then she started laughing at the fact that she was laughing.  Feeling very badly that she had laughed at the man's part, she composed herself as well as she could.

"I am so sorry," she said. 

"I don't know what came over me.  On my honour as a nurse and a lady, I promise that won't happen again.  Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen," Bob replied.

She ran out of the room.