Friday, March 16, 2012

Pain Threshold

It's claimed that childbirth is much more painful for women than a knee to the testicles is for men.

This is obviously untrue.

A year or so after giving birth, a woman often says, "It’d be nice to have another baby."

You never hear a bloke say, "I wouldn't mind another kick in the nuts."

Case closed.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Urgent eBay help needed!

Do you know how to retract a bid on eBay?

I submitted a bid of $72.50 on a Mickey Mouse outfit. Now, I am only 19 minutes away from winning Gillard's entire cabinet!

Wednesday, March 07, 2012

Viagra Side-Effects

A woman asks her husband at breakfast time, "Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?"

He declines.  "Thanks for asking but I'm not hungry right now.  It's this Viagra," he says, "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."

At lunchtime she asks him if he'd like something to eat.  "How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins or a cheese sandwich?"

Again he declines.  "The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my desire for food."

Come dinner time she asks him if he wants anything to eat.  "Would you like a juicy rib-eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie?  Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?"

He declines again.  "No," he says, "it's got to be the Viagra. I'm still not hungry."

"Well," she says, "Would you mind letting me up?  I'm starving!"