A collection of what passes for humour amongst the jokes, puns and witticisms that find their way into my inbox.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
0 - 100 in less than six seconds
Rick was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary.
His wife was really angry.
She told him, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 100 in less than six seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!"
The next morning Rick got up early and left for work.
When Rick's wife woke up she looked out of the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, his wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Rick has been missing since Friday.
His wife was really angry.
She told him, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 100 in less than six seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!"
The next morning Rick got up early and left for work.
When Rick's wife woke up she looked out of the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, his wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Rick has been missing since Friday.
Monday, December 03, 2007
Four Word Film Reviews: Top 10
These are the top 10 four word film reviews:
10. Star Trek III: The Search for Spock
"Finding Nimoy"
9. Jaws: The Revenge
"Fin"
8. Amadeus
"Salieri has pianist envy"
7. Saving Private Ryan
"Brother gets own bedroom"
6. Best in Show
"This is Spaniel Tap"
5. Eyes Wide Shut
"Pretty shitty gang bang"
4. Superman
"The great S cape"
3. The Blair Witch Project
"Tense. Intense. In tents"
2. Titanic
"Icy dead people"
1. Kramer vs. Kramer
"I bet Kramer wins"
More...
10. Star Trek III: The Search for Spock
"Finding Nimoy"
9. Jaws: The Revenge
"Fin"
8. Amadeus
"Salieri has pianist envy"
7. Saving Private Ryan
"Brother gets own bedroom"
6. Best in Show
"This is Spaniel Tap"
5. Eyes Wide Shut
"Pretty shitty gang bang"
4. Superman
"The great S cape"
3. The Blair Witch Project
"Tense. Intense. In tents"
2. Titanic
"Icy dead people"
1. Kramer vs. Kramer
"I bet Kramer wins"
More...