My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who
seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and
told us that "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be
landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just
put your trays up, that would be just super."
On his trip back up the
aisle, he noticed a well-groomed woman with a superior air, who
hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute
engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can
pitty-pat us on the ground."
She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one."
To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank
you. Tray-up, Bitch!"
Showing posts with label gay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gay. Show all posts
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Sunday, January 09, 2011
Friday, March 28, 2008
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Out of the Frying Pan
A young man called Peter invited his mother for dinner, during the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how handsome Peter's flat mate, Simon was.
She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Peter and his flat mate than met the eye.
Reading his mum's thoughts, Peter volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking but I assure you, Simon and I are just flat mates".
About a week later, Simon came to Peter saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the frying pan, you don't suppose she took it do you?"
"Well I doubt it but I'll e-mail her just to be sure" said Peter.
So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mother,
I'm not saying that you did take the frying pan from my house, I'm not saying that you did not take the frying pan but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love Peter.
Several days later, Peter received an email from his mother which read:
Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you do sleep with Simon and I'm not saying that you do not sleep with Simon but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed, he would have found the fucking frying pan by now.
Love Mum.
She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Peter and his flat mate than met the eye.
Reading his mum's thoughts, Peter volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking but I assure you, Simon and I are just flat mates".
About a week later, Simon came to Peter saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the frying pan, you don't suppose she took it do you?"
"Well I doubt it but I'll e-mail her just to be sure" said Peter.
So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mother,
I'm not saying that you did take the frying pan from my house, I'm not saying that you did not take the frying pan but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love Peter.
Several days later, Peter received an email from his mother which read:
Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you do sleep with Simon and I'm not saying that you do not sleep with Simon but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed, he would have found the fucking frying pan by now.
Love Mum.
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Brokeback Mountain Ranch
A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She agonised long and hard about it but when nobody else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.
He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours and knew a lot about ranching.
For weeks the two of them worked hard and the ranch was doing well. Then one day, the widow said "You've done a really good job... the ranch looks great... you deserve a night on the town to kick up your heels."
The hired hand agreed with alacrity and took up the offer on Saturday night.
One o'clock came and he hadn't returned.
Two o'clock, and still no sign of him.
He finally returned around two-thirty, and found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.
She quietly called him over to her: "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots..." He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks." He placed them neatly by her boots. "Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, watching her eyes in the fire light. "Now take off my bra." With trembling hands he did as he was told, and dropped it to the floor. "Now," she said, "take off my panties." By the light of the fire, he slowly eased them down. Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."
He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours and knew a lot about ranching.
For weeks the two of them worked hard and the ranch was doing well. Then one day, the widow said "You've done a really good job... the ranch looks great... you deserve a night on the town to kick up your heels."
The hired hand agreed with alacrity and took up the offer on Saturday night.
One o'clock came and he hadn't returned.
Two o'clock, and still no sign of him.
He finally returned around two-thirty, and found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.
She quietly called him over to her: "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots..." He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks." He placed them neatly by her boots. "Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, watching her eyes in the fire light. "Now take off my bra." With trembling hands he did as he was told, and dropped it to the floor. "Now," she said, "take off my panties." By the light of the fire, he slowly eased them down. Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."
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