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Wheel of Misfortune

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All About Eve

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God.

"Lord, I have a problem!"

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"Lord, I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedic snake but I'm just not happy."

"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.

"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."

"What's a man, Lord?"

"This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat, and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he's aroused, but since you've been complaining, I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be very smart, so he'll also need your advice to think properly."

"Sounds great." says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow. What's the catch, Lord?"

"Well... you can have him on one condition."

"What's that, Lord?"

"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring... So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. Just remember, it's our little secret...

"You know, woman to woman."

Walking Eagle

On a recent tour or North America, Prime Minister Kevin Rudd was invited to address a major gathering of Native Americans in Kitimat, BC in view of his experiences handling the indigenous situation in Australia.

He spoke for almost an hour on his ideas for increasing all indigenous peoples' standard of living. At the conclusion of his speech, the tribes presented the Prime Minister with a plaque inscribed with his new Native American name - "Walking Eagle".

The proud Rudd then departed with his entourage, waving to the crowd as he left. A news reporter later asked the Chiefs how they came to select the new name given to Rudd.

The Chiefs replied: "Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of shit, it can no longer fly".

Dead End

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