PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons.
TYRES: Tyres are male because they go bald easily and are often over-inflated.
HOT-AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their arse. Then of course, there's the hot air factor.
SPONGES: These are female because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.
WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.
TRAINS: Definitely male because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.
EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMERS: Male because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.
THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.
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