Saturday, February 21, 2015

Double Negatives

An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative... But there isn’t a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative." A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."


It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs… because they always take things literally.

Who is this Rorschach guy? … and why does he paint so many pictures of my parents fighting?

Pavlov is sitting at a bar, when all of the sudden the phone rings... Pavlov gasps, "Oh crap, I forgot to feed the dogs."

There are two types of people in this world:… Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.

A photon checks into a hotel and the bellhop asks him if he has any luggage... The photon replies, "No, I’m travelling light."

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?