Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Great Britons

Stunning answers from British quiz contestants...

From Quizmania (ITV quiz programme):

Greg Scott: We're looking for an occupation beginning with "T".

Contestant: Doctor.

Scott: No, it's "T". "T" for Tommy. "T" for Tango.

Contestant: Oh, right... (pause) Doctor.

Danny Kelly's radio show:

Kelly: Which French Mediterranean town hosts a famous film festival every year?

Contestant: I don't know, I need a clue.

Kelly: OK. What do beans come in?

Contestant: Cartons?

BBC (Norfolk):

Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What a Wonderful World?

Contestant: I don't know.

White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?

Contestant: Arm.

White: And if you're not weak, you're...?

Contestant: Strong.

White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?

Contestant: Louis.

White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What a Wonderful World?

Contestant: Frank Sinatra?

Late Show (BBC Midlands)

Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy?

Contestant: France.

Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.

Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.

Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?

Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.

Trelinski: Just guess a country then.

Contestant: Paris.

The Weakest Link (BBC2)

Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: prison, or the Conservative Party?

Contestant: The Conservative Party.

Beacon Radio (Wolverhampton)

DJ Mark: For 10 pounds, what is the nationality of the Pope?

Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

The Weakest Link:

Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?

Contestant: Jool carriageway?

GWR FM (Bristol)

Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22 1963?

Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.

Magic 22 (BBC Northeast England)

Presenter: In what year was President Kennedy assassinated?

Contestant: Erm...

Presenter: Well, let's put it this way - he didn't see 1964.

Contestant: 1965?

Phone In (BBC):

Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?

Contestant: Barcelona.

Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.

Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.

Notts and Crosses (BBC radio Nottingham):

Jeff Owen: In which country is Mount Everest?

Contestant: (long pause) Er, it's not in Scotland, is it?

National Lottery (BBC1)

Question: What is the world's largest continent?

Contestant: The Pacific

James O'Brien Show (LBC)

O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?

Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth... erm, three?

Chris Searle Show (Radio Bristol)

Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?

Caller: Japan.

Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.

Caller: Er... Mexico?

Notts and Crosses Quiz:

Jeff Owen: Where did the D-Day landings take place?

Contestant: (after pause) Pearl Harbour?

Steve Wright in the Afternoon (BBC2)

Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?

Contestant: Jesus.

Even Greater Britons...

No comments: