Sincerely

Dear Noah,

We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.

Sincerely,
Unicorns


Dear Twilight fans,

Please realise that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasising about that.

Sincerely,
Logic


Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.

Sincerely,
The Titanic


Dear J.K. Rowling,

Your books are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?

Sincerely,
Anonymous


Dear America,

You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.

Sincerely,
Canada


Dear Yahoo,

I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...

Sincerely,
Google


Dear 2010,

So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!

Sincerely,
1985


Dear Windshield Wipers,

Can't touch this.

Sincerely,
That Little Triangle


Dear Rose,

There was definitely room on that door for the both of us.

Sincerely,
Jack
PS you let go


Dear girls who have been dumped,

There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.

Sincerely,
BP


Dear Saturn,

I liked it, so I put a ring on it.

Sincerely,
God


Dear Fox News,

So far, no news about foxes.

Sincerely,
Unimpressed


Dear Michael Jackson,

You really should have became a Catholic Priest. The pay isn't great, but the
benefits...

Sincerely,
The Pope


Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,

Please lknvfdmv.xvn.

Sincerely,
Stevie Wonder


Dear Nickleback,

That's enough.

Sincerely,
The World


Dear Skin-Coloured Band Aids,

Please make one for every skin colour.

Sincerely,
Black people


Dear Scissors,

I feel your pain... No one wants to run with me either.

Sincerely,
Sarah Palin


Dear Mary,

Just admit that you slept with someone else. This is getting out of hand.

Sincerely,
Joseph


Dear World of Warcraft,

Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.

Sincerely,
Parents Everywhere


Dear Batman,

What was your power again?

Sincerely,
Superman


Dear Customers,

Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.

Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies


Dear Global Warming,

You're the best imaginary friend ever!

Sincerely,
Al Gore


Dear Ugly People,

You're welcome.

Sincerely,
Alcohol


Dear Mr. Gump

WTF are you talking about? There's a little diagram on the lid that tells you EXACTLY what you're gonna get...

Sincerely,
Jenny

Dear Haiti,

Is it too early to ask what's shakin'?

Sincerely,
Seriously Going To Hell


Dear Martin Luther King Jr.

I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream... What now?

Sincerely,
Leonardo Di Caprio


Dear World,

Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?

Sincerely,
The Mayan


Dear White People,

Don't you just hate immigrants?

Sincerely,
Native Americans


Dear iPhone,

Please stop spell-checking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shit.

Sincerely,
Every iPhone User


Dear Giant Spider on the Wall,

Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die. CRAP! Where did you go?

Sincerely,
Terrified


Dear Trash,

At least you get picked up...

Sincerely,
The Girls of Jersey Shore


Dear Man,

It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?

Sincerely,
Elephant


Dear Dr. Phil,

Look man, there's only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here first.

Sincerely,
Dr. Pepper