A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She agonised long and hard about it but when nobody else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.
He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours and knew a lot about ranching.
For weeks the two of them worked hard and the ranch was doing well. Then one day, the widow said "You've done a really good job... the ranch looks great... you deserve a night on the town to kick up your heels."
The hired hand agreed with alacrity and took up the offer on Saturday night.
One o'clock came and he hadn't returned.
Two o'clock, and still no sign of him.
He finally returned around two-thirty, and found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.
She quietly called him over to her: "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots..." He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks." He placed them neatly by her boots. "Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, watching her eyes in the fire light. "Now take off my bra." With trembling hands he did as he was told, and dropped it to the floor. "Now," she said, "take off my panties." By the light of the fire, he slowly eased them down. Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."