1. When you are sad -- I will help you get pissed and plot revenge against the bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.
4. When you are scared -- I will stir you about it every chance I get until you're not.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you stories about how much worse it could be until you stop whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will try to use only simple words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will laugh at your clumsy arse, but I'll help you up.
This is my oath... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask - because you are my friend.
Friendship is like pissing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth.