Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Is a bear Catholic in the woods?

A Catholic priest, a Baptist preacher, and a rabbi would get together a couple of times a week for coffee and a chat.

One day, one of them commented that preaching to people isn't all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to run an experiment. Each of them would go into the woods, find a bear and preach to it in an attempt to convert it.

A week later, they all came together to discuss their experience.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches and had various bandages on his body and limbs, spoke first.

"Well," he said, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he claimed, "Well, brothers, you know that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I found me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's holy word! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I grabbed of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, up another and down again until we came to a creek. So I quickly dunked him and baptized his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."

The priest and the reverend both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.

The Rabbi looked up and said, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

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