One day housework-challenged husband, Jim, decided to wash his pull-over. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry, he shouts to his wife, Jane, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," Jane replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
Jim yelled back, "University of Queensland".
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
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"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he steps out of the shower.
"Honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
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Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man
Love to forgive him
And Patience for his moods
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumour.
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Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practising to be men.
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manual".
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