Mongolian Herpes

While visiting China, a businessman is sexually promiscuous and doesn't use a condom during his escapades.

A week after arriving back home in Sydney, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots.

Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.

The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.

The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, "I've got bad news for you, you've contracted Mongolian Herpes. It's very rare and almost unheard of here, we know very little about it."

The man looks a little perplexed and says, "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc."

The doctor answers, "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis."

The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion."

The doctor replies, "Well, it's your choice. Go ahead, if you want but surgery is your only choice."

The next day, the man seeks out a traditional Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, "Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Very rare disease."

The guy says to the doctor, "Yeah, yeah, I already know that but what can we do? My GP wants to operate and amputate my penis!"

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. "Stupid western physicians, always want to operate - make more money that way. There's no need to amputate."

"Oh, thank God!" the man replies.

"Yes," says the Chinese doctor, "wait two weeks. It'll fall off by itself."