Sunday, September 21, 2008

Restorative Power of Beer

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the father that his son has been born without a torso, arms or legs - his son is just a head. Even so the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.

After 18 years, the son is old enough for his first alcoholic drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells his son that he is proud of him and orders him a pint of lager. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.

Swoooosh! Plop!! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into whoops of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink!"

The bartender continues to shake his head in dismay. Swoooosh! Plip! Plop!! Two arms pop out.

The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" The bartender ignores the whole affair and goes back to polishing glasses, shaking his head, clearly unimpressed by the amazing scenes.

By now the boy is getting tips, but with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his glass and guzzles the last of it. Plop! Plip!! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos.

The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left then staggers to the right, out through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him killing him instantly. The bar falls silent.

The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says, "He should've quit while he was a head!"

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