- A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 200m2 house 10cm deep.
- If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
- A three-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
- If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 18kg child wearing Batman undies and a Superman cape. However, it is strong enough, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 6m x 6m room.
- You should not throw cricket balls up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a cricket ball a long way.
- The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a cricket ball hit by a ceiling fan.
- When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
- Brake fluid mixed with Domestos makes smoke, and lots of it.
- A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old adult says they can only do it in the films.
- Certain Lego blocks will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year old.
- Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
- Super glue is forever.
- No matter how much jelly you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
- Pool filters do not like jelly.
- VCRs do not eject Vegemite sandwiches.
- Rubbish bags do not make good parachutes.
- Marbles in petrol tanks make lots of noise when driving.
- You probably don't want to know what that odour is.
- Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
- The fire department in Perth has a five-minute response time.
- The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
- However, it will make cats dizzy.
- Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
- 80% of women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
- 80% of men who read this will try mixing Domestos and brake fluid.
A collection of what passes for humour amongst the jokes, puns and witticisms that find their way into my inbox.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Facts All Parents Should Know
Labels:
kids
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1 comment:
I gotta get me some Domestos right now.
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