Sunday, May 24, 2009

Facts All Parents Should Know

  1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 200m2 house 10cm deep.
  2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
  3. A three-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
  4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 18kg child wearing Batman undies and a Superman cape. However, it is strong enough, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 6m x 6m room.
  5. You should not throw cricket balls up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a cricket ball a long way.
  6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a cricket ball hit by a ceiling fan.
  7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
  8. Brake fluid mixed with Domestos makes smoke, and lots of it.
  9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old adult says they can only do it in the films.
  10. Certain Lego blocks will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year old.
  11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
  12. Super glue is forever.
  13. No matter how much jelly you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
  14. Pool filters do not like jelly.
  15. VCRs do not eject Vegemite sandwiches.
  16. Rubbish bags do not make good parachutes.
  17. Marbles in petrol tanks make lots of noise when driving.
  18. You probably don't want to know what that odour is.
  19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
  20. The fire department in Perth has a five-minute response time.
  21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
  22. However, it will make cats dizzy.
  23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
  24. 80% of women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
  25. 80% of men who read this will try mixing Domestos and brake fluid.

1 comment:

Chocoboknight99 said...

I gotta get me some Domestos right now.