Take Us to Your Leader

Two aliens landed in the desert near Meekatharra (Western Australia). They spotted the petrol station that was closed for the night.

They walked up to the old-fashioned petrol pump and the younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."

The petrol bowser, of course, didn't respond. The younger alien became angry at the lack of response and the older alien said, "I'd calm down if I were you."

The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response. Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!"

The older alien warned his comrade again saying, "You don't want to do that! I don't think you should make him mad."
"Rubbish," replied the cocky, young alien, then he aimed his weapon at the pump and opened fire.

There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him a burnt crumpled mess about 200 metres away in a dry creek bed.

About a half hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antennae and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien, who was standing over him shaking his big green head.

"What a ferocious creature!" exclaimed the young, fried alien. "He damn near killed me! How in the name of hell did you know he was so dangerous?"

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, "If there's something I've learned during my intergalactic travels, you don't want to mess with a bloke who can wrap his penis around himself twice and then stick it in his ear."