Cruising

DEAR DIARY: DAY ONE

I am all packed and ready to board the cruise ship. I've packed all my pretty dresses and make-up. I'm really excited.


DEAR DIARY: DAY TWO

We spent the entire day at sea. It was beautiful and we saw some whales and dolphins. What a wonderful vacation this has started to be. I met the Captain today and he seems like a very nice man.


DEAR DIARY: DAY THREE

I spent some time in the pool today. I also played shuffle board and hit some golf balls off the deck. The Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. I felt honoured and we had a wonderful time. He is a very attractive and attentive gentleman.


DEAR DIARY: DAY FOUR

Went to the ship's casino. Did okay - won about $80. The Captain invited me to have dinner with him in his state room. We had a luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night but I declined. I told him there was no way I could be unfaithful to my husband.


DEAR DIARY: DAY FIVE

Went back to the pool today and got a little sunburned. I decided to go to the piano bar and spend the rest of the day inside. The Captain saw me and bought me a couple of drinks. He really is a charming gentleman. He again asked me to visit him for the night and again I declined. He told me that if I didn't let him have his way with me he would sink the ship. I was appalled.


DEAR DIARY: DAY SIX
I saved 1600 lives today... Twice.