A Dennis Wise - a nasty five footer.
A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read.
A Rock Hudson - looked straight but wasn't.
A Cuban - needed one more revolution.
A Paris Hilton - an expensive hole.
An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker.
A Saddam Hussein - from one bunker straight into another.
A Yasser Arafat - ugly, fat and in the sand.
A Kate Winslett - little bit fat but otherwise perfect.
A Gerry Adams - playing a provisional.
A Glen Miller - didn't make it over the water.
An Arthur Scargill - a great strike but a poor result.
A Rodney King - over-clubbed.
An O.J. Simpson - got away with it.
A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver.
A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver.
A Michael Jackson - gradually fading.
A Douglas Bader - looked good in the air but didn't have the legs.
A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems.
A condom - safe but didn't feel good.
An Anna Kournikova - looks great but unlikely to get a result.
A Vinnie Jones - nasty kick when you're not expecting it.
A Brazilian - shaved both sides of the hole.
A Ron Jeremy – fat and ugly but went a long way.