Friday, October 31, 2008

Political Heaven and Hell

While crossing the street one day a politician is hit by a truck and killed.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there's a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the polly.

"Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you may choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the politician.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules.", says St. Pete.

And with that, St. Peter escorts the politician to an elevator in which he descends to hell. The elevator doors open and the politician finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse, and standing in front of it are all the man's friends and other politicians who have worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. His friends and colleagues run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the wonderful times they had while getting rich at the expense of others. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly and nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such fun that before the politician realizes it, it's time to leave. Everyone bids him a hearty farewell and waves as the elevator ascends. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

"Now it's time for you to visit heaven."

So, 24 hours pass with the politician joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a nice time and, before he realizes it, another 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The polly reflects for a moment then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful but I think I would be better off in hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he descends back down to hell. When the elevator doors open the politician finds himself in the middle of a barren landscape strewn with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends dressed in rags, picking up rubbish and putting it in black bags as more garbage rains down from above. The devil comes over to the politician and puts his arm around his shoulder.

"I don't understand," stammers the polly. "Yesterday when I was here, there was a golf course and clubhouse, we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning...

Today you voted."

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